


My Best Friend's Brother

by CronutsAmpora



Category: Homestuck
Genre: I just really like this song, M/M, My Best Friend's Brother - Freeform, loosely based on a song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:07:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7494999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CronutsAmpora/pseuds/CronutsAmpora





	1. Chapter 1

You raked your fingers through your hair a few times. You couldn't do it, could you? You knew Dave wasn't home, he was out and getting shit down at the 99¢ store to be ironic with. Maybe you should text him to ask him to pick up one of those cute little globes for Caligula, so he has something besides his castle to play with. The dumb little cutie could-

No. Fuck. Stop getting so distracted.

Grow a set and just. Fucking. Call.

You hit the button and sit in anxious silence as you wait. And wait. And wait. And-

Hello. You have reached the number of…

You kind of slinked down in your chair as you listen to answering machine. And to think you took forever to talk yourself into this, what a load of-

"Hello? Strider residence, Dirk speaking."

You swallowed dryly and manned up again, "Uh, hello, Dirk… I-It's Eridan, uh, is-"

"Hey, Eri. You coming to the practice tonight? Missed you last time…." You could hear your heart pounding in your ears, holy fuck, "…and Rufioh was getting eyefucked by Megido as he tamped out 'S.O.S.'s'. It was kind of dry and boring, you know."

You nodded a bit, then remembered he couldn't see you, so you choked on your words a bit and apologized.

"No need to apologize, Eri. But, you're coming tonight, right? Can't even think about playing without both of our biggest fans, right?"

"I'll be there this time, wwhere wwould you guys be wwithout me?"

"Good. Could you please tell Cro not to swim in cologne today? Can't play with him smelling like the perfume department, you know?"

"Yeah…"

"Now that that's all over, you called?"

"Uh, I, uh, I forgot, oops, oh wwell, I'll see you later, right?"

"It's a date, then."

You practically slammed the end call button and just stay reclined in your chair. You slowly got up and walked to your bed, where you threw yourself and squealed into your pillow.

You fucking did it.

A few hours later, you're sitting next to Dave, watching the band that you brother, Dirk, Rufioh, and the Japanese girl who you are convinced was a female Bond henchman in a previous lifetime were in. Dave had on a neutral face as he lounged next to you, more than likely eyeing the way Bond girl scooted closer to Rufioh like a cat towards a mouse.

Everyone was taking a break for some drinks, but Cronus and Dirk were talking and talking and Rufioh broke their conversation by telling them that he had to go pick up his little brother from somewhere. He offered a smile, but bolted, leaving your brother to offer Bond girl a ride home. She huffed a bit and mumbled before pulling a you-know-for-sure-it's-not-a-cigarette cigarette out of her bra. Before she could light it, though, a little door opened on the wall and Dave's oldest brother popped his head out of it.

"No smoking cannabis unless you have enough for everyone."

Dave and Dirk were completely straight-faced even though you and Cronus jumped. Bond girl flipped him off and lit it anyways, "I wait in your car. Hurry up if you want leather unstabbed."

Cronus just waved her off as he tried to talk to Dirk again. God, you can't fucking do this. Nope. You planned this shit out and now you can't do it. Way to go, Ampora, way to-

"Hey, Cronus, I got something for you," Dave gets up and drops his iPod on your lap. An album cover is showing with the song 'My best friend's brother' from that one Nickelodeon show. You look up and Dave is already leaving with your brother, tugging him by the sleeve.

Dirk sits next to you as soon as you hear a door slam shut in the front of the house. His arm is resting on the couch behind you and he opens his mouth to say something, but you man the fuck up and kiss him as hard as you can, more or less just crushing your lips to his.

Your hand on his shirt is shaking from nerves. You're so fucked, holy shit, he's going to freak out and kick you out, oh my god, oh my god.

You're almost shocked out of your skin when he cups your face and kisses you back, nowhere near as rough as you were kissing him. As you lighten up a bit and relax into the kiss, you hear the door to the crawl space open up and the oldest Strider swears loudly.

"Are you kidding me? Fuck, now I owe Dave ten. Dammit, Dirk, you couldn't gather your balls any faster? Do you know how long it takes to make ten ass puppets?"

You are absolutely red, but Dirk isn't letting you pull out of the kiss. He must've flipped off his brother or something because you hear cackling and a 'Use protection!' before the door shuts.

Now you're just left making out with Dirk Strider and you really like this.


	2. Chapter 2

You dropped your iPod on Eridan’s lap and dragged his brother out of the room. Damara was waiting for you both in the car, so you told Cronus that you’ll show him the thing after you both dropped her off. He’s suspicious and asks why Eridan didn’t come along, he thought he was dropping him off at home, but you just shrugged and told him to just get in the car.

Damara smokes the whole ride there, scoffing at how dumb Rufioh was and babbling on in a mix of Japanese and maybe Spanish, but she keeps switching between the languages so fast that you have no idea what she’s saying and give up on listening to her. Cronus, on the other hand, snorts at some things she says and answers in one language or the other and you kinda want to climb him like a tree, you’re not going to lie. He’s trilingual and even after language arts in school, you are only trylingual.

Damara makes Cronus stop at a house that you are certain isn’t her’s, and your thoughts are confirmed when a tall, shirtless Makara comes outside and leans heavily on the railing. Damara grabs her duffle bag and winks at Cronus before walking up to the door.

Five minutes later, you’re both down the street at the 7/11 and waiting in line behind the two other people who looked like they just rolled out for a damn slurpee and one person who looked like they just got out of work. Cronus glances at you as you reach other and grab a bag of chips as you wait, “.... So, what was it that you wanted to show me?”

“Chill, Brosiden.”

“I am chill, AbeBroham Lincoln,” he says as he buys his cigarettes and a can of AriZona.

“Doesn’t seem like it to me, Brontosaurus,” you answer, hiding a grin because you love when he joins in when you do this shit. You then pay for your bag of chips.

“But I am, Brometheus.”

You scoff on your way out the door, following him back to his car, “Sure you are, Broseph Stalin.”

“Oh. Ok, Adolf Hipster,” Cronus shoots back at you, catching you by the hips and hoisting you up onto the hood of the car.

Fuck. Wait. This wasn’t in the plan.

“.... What cha doing, Cron-?”

“What were you going to show me?” he’s awfully close to you. Your mouth is dry and he is just so close, you can’t breathe.

Your mouth opens, but you don’t have anything to say, so you shut it. 

“Well?”

You still don’t answer and he pulls away and opens up his new pack of pall malls. He lights one and turns away from you, leaning his ass against the grill as he takes a drag, “.... Nice night out, ain’t it?”

You adjust and cross your legs, your hands behind you as you look up at the sky, “...Yeah….”

The silence is deafening.

“I’ll take you home then? After this, right?”

You want to protest, you had a damn plan set up, but you end up shrugging. You then reach your hand out, “... Can I take a hit?”

He hands it over and you sit there for a moment with it in your fingers before you take a drag and look up at the sky as you let it out. You both sit there for a few more minutes before he snuffs it out when you don’t want the last puff.

The ride to your house is silent and he doesn’t ask anymore what you wanted to show him. You feel sick to your stomach and you can’t look at him. You stare out the window and you can’t believe that you just let the plan fall apart like that and-

“... This isn’t my house.”

“I know, you live at the end of the block.”

You turn to him, “Then why-?”

He cuts you off by kissing you. His mouth is warm on your’s and you barely have time to register it by the time he pulls away. Your mouth feels like it’s on fire and all you can do is stare at him with wide-eyed shock. He then puts the car back into drive and pulls up in front of your place, where your brother is sitting outside with a book and a highlighter. He lifts a hand to you both and Cronus parks and unlocks the doors before getting out.

“Is Eridan still here?”

“Yeah, he’s macking on your drummer. I don’t think you’re getting him back.”

“Jeez, have they really been going at it that long?”

“Yep. Now, do you think that stabbing a man through the chest or through the head is a better way to punish him for touching your youngest brother that you practically raised like a son?”

“Through the groin. It gives them more time to think about what they have done before you finish them off.”

“Good, because this boy-”

Cronus makes a noise because you’re suddenly in front of him and he has no time to say anything as you grab him by the front of his shirt, “I love you.”

He is shocked into silence as you go inside, then looks at your Bro.

“... Did that just happen?”

“It did.”

“But I thought-”

“Nope.”

“Can I-”

“Go get him, tiger.”


End file.
